The Epic Return of Clari

There comes a point in everyone's life where "real world" and "adult" responsibilities try to pry us from the things that we love. Rather than pretend magical and fantastic things, we pretend that it is okay to exist in a world of jobs, chores, and monotony.

Many of the cosplayers that I have met defy this. Either they indefinitely suspend reaching that point or they meet and overcome it.

I find myself to be one of the latter, as it has been two years since I last cosplayed. At first it was Katsucon 14. My now-husband and I signed the paperwork for our house that very weekend. That was just the start. Otakon - I was too poor from buying a house to even go to the con, let alone cosplay. The hotel alone would have bankrupted me. The following February it was the upcoming wedding we were saving for. I couldn't justify shirking a major responsibility to my husband and family for a weekend of playing dress up, now could I?

Finally I realized that something major was missing in my life. It is not just cosplay. I don't work on my scrapbooks, I am not longer pursuing the arts, I don't even play my clarinet or any instrument for that matter. I have been too long from my arts, and I need to find them again.

So that was a starting grounds. Step one, identify the problem. Step two, do something about it.

The first baby step I took was registering for a smaller local con. No hotel fee, no travel cost, and no cosplay. I didn't have the time or the money. That didn't stop me, however, from donning the most ridiculous of outfits, complete with Kuro-neko-sama shirt and kitty ears and buddying up with other cosplayers young enough to be my students.

To be honest, it was difficult. Part of me shyed away from the immaturity of it all. I never have a weekend off, and I was spending most of my precious Saturday waiting in line to get inside the building. Once in, I would spend money irresponsibly and partake in games (like Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?) that have no bearing in the real world.

Saturday night Nette-chan, Raharu and I made plushies. Or tried to. I was working with my hands again; sewing for something other than profit, and enjoying myself. I dug out my Chii cosplay; one of my favorites; and decided to wear it the following day. It just didn't feel like a con without cosplay.

Sunday was bizarre. It was a smaller con, and an older costume. It didn't look or wear as nice as it did the first time. There wasn't that exciting energy of wearing a costume for the first time. I posed for a few pictures but far less than I was accustomed to from the larger cons. The wig felt heavy and uncomfortable. I was awkward in my shoes and my dress. I was afraid of tearing the hem; the bows didn't stay up; I had my glasses; I didn't wear glasses when I last cosplayed.

Though it was difficult to try to transition back into the mentality of a con, I got there eventaully. I bought this cute little plush and made friends with the artist. Talking to her reminded me of what it was I liked about cons; Originality. Expression. Passion. The willingness to create something and show it to the world (or at least a thousand + con-goers) and be proud of it.

Nette-chan and I made our plans for Katsucon 16 and I pre-registered before the end of the year. This February I won't be letting the real world keep me from my fantastic one. It will be a weekend of friends, artists, geekery, and of course, a new cosplay. ^_~ More to come about that one.